Ian Somerhalder Reveals Why ‘Stelena’ Was Better for His Life Than ‘Delena’ on The Vampire Diaries
For devoted fans of The CW’s iconic supernatural drama, The Vampire Diaries, few debates sparked as much passion and division as the epic love triangle involving Elena Gilbert and the Salvatore brothers, Stefan and Damon. Known affectionately as ‘Stelena’ (Stefan + Elena) and ‘Delena’ (Damon + Elena), these relationships formed the very heart of the series, fueling countless discussions, fan fiction, and heated arguments across social media platforms. Actors Paul Wesley, who played the brooding Stefan Salvatore, and Ian Somerhalder, who embodied the enigmatic Damon Salvatore, found themselves at the center of this romantic maelstrom, alongside Nina Dobrev’s character, Elena. Years after the show concluded, one half of the unforgettable Delena pairing, Ian Somerhalder, candidly weighed in on his personal preference, and his reasoning sheds a fascinating, albeit sobering, light on the darker side of intense fandom.
At a The Vampire Diaries convention held on September 7, commemorating the 10th anniversary of the show’s premiere, Ian Somerhalder delivered an answer that might surprise many who rooted for Damon and Elena to end up together. While their on-screen chemistry was undeniable and ultimately led to their character’s endgame, Somerhalder openly expressed a preference for the ‘Stelena’ dynamic. His rationale wasn’t based on fictional narrative preference, but rather on the very real-world impact that the fervor surrounding ‘Delena’ had on his personal life, specifically concerning his wife, Nikki Reed, and his family.
The Intense Reality of Fandom: When Fiction Crosses into Life
Somerhalder’s comments highlighted a critical issue faced by many actors whose characters become deeply beloved and intensely “shipped” by fans. “Stelena was better for my life because Delena fans can really be umm… to me and my wife and my family and stuff,” Ian explained to the convention audience, a statement that quickly resonated across social media. He elaborated, “So I love Stelena. Stelena was fun. Stelena fans are like super cool. Delena fans were actually problematic. Yeah. To my family and me, and it just got really weird for a little while. I shipped Elena and Damon like crazy until the ship just got negative. So I love Stelena. It’s easier for my life. And I got to see Paul all the time cause he and Elena were always making out and stuff.”
This candid confession unveils the sometimes-problematic nature of fandom when boundaries blur. While the overwhelming majority of The Vampire Diaries fans are respectful and engage in healthy appreciation for the show and its cast, a vocal minority can sometimes cross lines. Somerhalder’s experience points to instances where passionate ‘Delena’ shippers struggled to differentiate between the fictional romantic narrative and the actors’ real lives. When Ian Somerhalder, who previously dated Nina Dobrev off-screen, moved on to marry Nikki Reed, some fans who were overly invested in the ‘Delena’ dynamic on screen reportedly directed negativity towards him, Nina, and particularly Nikki. This behavior, unfortunately, is not uncommon in celebrity culture, where intense dedication to fictional pairings can spill over into personal attacks on real individuals.
Understanding the ‘Stelena’ vs. ‘Delena’ Divide on Screen
To fully grasp the intensity of the fan reactions, it’s essential to remember the narrative arcs of both relationships. ‘Stelena’ represented the epic, classic love story. Stefan, the good vampire with a conscience, offered Elena stability, selflessness, and a love that, for a time, seemed destined. Their connection was pure, innocent, and built on mutual respect and understanding. Fans of ‘Stelena’ often appreciated the emotional depth and the idea of a partner who would always put Elena first, even at his own expense.
On the other hand, ‘Delena’ captivated audiences with its raw passion, undeniable chemistry, and the allure of forbidden love. Damon, the unpredictable “bad boy” vampire, challenged Elena, pushed her boundaries, and ultimately underwent significant character growth because of his love for her. Their relationship was fraught with danger, intensity, and a transformative power that saw Damon evolve from a ruthless villain into a complex, redeemed hero. ‘Delena’ fans were drawn to the idea that love could change even the darkest of souls and found their dynamic to be irresistibly compelling.
The show cleverly played on this divide, ensuring both ships had dedicated followers. The writers meticulously crafted moments that solidified each pairing, creating a deeply invested audience who felt a personal stake in Elena’s romantic choices. This level of engagement, while a testament to the show’s storytelling, also laid the groundwork for the intense emotional responses, both positive and negative, that actors like Ian Somerhalder experienced.
The Broader Impact of Fandom Culture on Actors’ Lives
Ian Somerhalder’s comments serve as a poignant reminder of the challenges actors face when their work resonates so profoundly with an audience. While they appreciate the dedication and love from fans, there is a fine line between appreciation and intrusion. The phenomenon of “shipping” – where fans passionately endorse a particular romantic pairing, often creating fan art, stories, and social media campaigns – can be a wonderful aspect of fandom, fostering creativity and community. However, when this passion morphs into harassment, cyberbullying, or an inability to separate the fictional from the factual, it creates an unhealthy environment for everyone involved.
Actors, despite their public personas, are real people with private lives, families, and feelings. The expectation that their personal relationships should align with the fictional ones they portray can be incredibly taxing. Somerhalder’s anecdote underscores the emotional labor involved in navigating such intense fan scrutiny, especially when it targets his loved ones. It highlights the importance of fostering a fandom culture that is built on respect, empathy, and a clear understanding of boundaries.
Delena’s On-Screen Destiny and Off-Screen Realities
Despite Ian Somerhalder’s personal preference for ‘Stelena’ for the sake of his real life, it is undeniable that ‘Delena’ ultimately became the canon endgame of The Vampire Diaries. In the series finale, Damon Salvatore became human and embarked on a fulfilling life with Elena Gilbert in Mystic Falls, fulfilling the romantic destiny many fans had championed for years. Their happily ever after was not just implied but confirmed; in the spin-off series Legacies, it’s revealed that Dr. Elena Salvatore is a successful professional, running her own practice, providing a satisfying glimpse into their future together.
The irony in Somerhalder’s statement, particularly the part about seeing Paul Wesley more because Stefan and Elena were always together, adds a layer of humor to a serious topic. It’s especially amusing given that Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesley themselves once playfully joked about having “despised each other” during early filming, a testament to the complex dynamics that can exist between co-stars off-screen. These playful jabs further emphasize that the relationships portrayed on screen, and the actors’ real-life friendships or romantic entanglements, are distinct and rarely as straightforward as fan narratives might suggest.
Ultimately, Ian Somerhalder’s revelations don’t diminish the love fans have for ‘Delena’ or the iconic status of The Vampire Diaries. Instead, they serve as a valuable reminder about the nature of celebrity and fandom. It’s a call for empathy and a recognition that while the stories and characters can deeply affect us, the individuals who bring them to life deserve the same respect and privacy as anyone else. His comments encourage a healthier engagement with beloved franchises, where the passion for fictional worlds doesn’t overshadow the respect for real people.
The Vampire Diaries remains a cultural touchstone, celebrated for its complex characters, gripping storylines, and unforgettable love triangles. Ian Somerhalder’s powerful performance as Damon Salvatore was central to its success, and his insights offer a rare peek behind the curtain, revealing the unseen pressures that come with being part of such a global phenomenon. It reinforces the idea that while fictional ships can be endlessly debated and adored, kindness and respect should always navigate the currents of fandom.