James Spader’s Private World: A Closer Look at His Three Sons — Sebastian, Elijah, and Nathaneal
From his breakout roles in iconic 80s films like Pretty In Pink to his critically acclaimed performances in Sex, Lies, and Videotape, and his enduring portrayal of Raymond “Red” Reddington in the hit series The Blacklist, James Spader has carved out a unique and distinguished career in Hollywood. Known for his captivating intensity, distinctive voice, and often eccentric characters, Spader has captivated audiences for decades. While his professional life is very much in the public eye, Spader has masterfully maintained a deep sense of privacy regarding his personal world. Despite his fame, many fans might be surprised to learn about his role as a dedicated father to three sons: Sebastian, Elijah, and Nathaneal.
Indeed, James Spader is the proud father of three boys. His two eldest sons, Sebastian and Elijah, are shared with his ex-wife, Victoria Khell. Later, he welcomed his youngest son, Nathaneal, with his long-term partner, Leslie Stefanson. Spader’s commitment to keeping his family life out of the relentless glare of the media is a testament to his desire for normalcy for his children. As he candidly shared with Playboy magazine in 2014, “I’ve been very successful keeping a private face on things, even out in public. If you’re recognizable and you want to draw people to you in public, you can do that. I don’t. If people put their lives in the public eye a lot, people feel as if they’ve gotten to know them through the media. I try not to open the door to my private life in a public way.” This philosophy has allowed his sons to forge their own paths, largely removed from the spotlight that often accompanies a famous parent.
Despite his efforts to protect their privacy, glimpses into the lives of James Spader’s sons reveal interesting journeys and a diverse array of talents. Each son has embarked on distinct career paths, some initially dabbling in the entertainment industry like their father, while others have explored different professional avenues entirely. This article delves into the lives of Sebastian, Elijah, and Nathaneal Spader, offering a rare look at the individuals behind the famed actor’s private family life and the varied aspirations they pursue.
Sebastian Spader: From Film Production to Luxury Real Estate
Born in 1989, Sebastian Spader is James Spader’s eldest son, born during his marriage to Victoria Spader (née Khell). The story of James and Victoria’s meeting is as charming as it is unique. They first crossed paths in the vibrant arts scene of New York City in the 1980s. At the time, James was navigating a series of “untraditional roster of penniless actor jobs,” including roles as a yoga instructor, manure shoveler, and railroad-loader, as reported by The Independent. It was during this period that he met Victoria, who was, quite fittingly, an actual yoga instructor. Their connection blossomed, leading them to marry in 1987 and subsequently welcome Sebastian into the world two years later.
Sebastian initially followed a path that many children of Hollywood figures explore: the film industry. According to an IMDb profile attributed to him, he gained valuable experience working behind the scenes as a producer, editor, and director on a handful of short film projects. His work showcased a burgeoning creative eye and an understanding of the intricate processes involved in filmmaking. One notable project was 2013’s Starting Over with Brook Shields, where he honed his skills in various production capacities. However, it seems Sebastian eventually opted for a significant career transition, shifting his focus from the dynamic world of film to the lucrative and equally demanding realm of real estate.
This career pivot saw Sebastian joining The Agency, a prominent luxury real estate firm known for its high-profile clientele and exclusive properties. His bio on The Agency’s website provides insight into his professional journey: “After graduating from Harvard Westlake, Sebastian attended New York University before beginning his professional career in the film industry. He worked in the camera and editorial departments, honing his creative eye and eventually becoming a producer. Most notably, he moved to Austin for two years to work at Robert Rodriguez’s Troublemaker Studios. His work as a producer overseeing large projects helped prepare him for his role overseeing the real estate transaction process and seamlessly coordinating the moving parts and various people involved.” This background in film production, particularly in project management and coordination, undoubtedly equipped him with transferable skills crucial for navigating the complexities of real estate transactions. His ability to oversee large projects and manage multiple stakeholders, honed in the fast-paced environment of film, serves him well in facilitating seamless real estate deals for his clients.
Elijah Spader: A Master of Sound in the Entertainment World
Three years after Sebastian, James and Victoria welcomed their second son, Elijah Spader, into their family in 1992. Like his older brother, Elijah also found his calling within the entertainment industry, though his passion led him behind the camera and into the intricate world of audio production. Elijah reportedly pursued formal education in his chosen field, graduating from the prestigious Los Angeles Film School with a specialized degree in Audio Production. This foundational training provided him with the technical expertise and creative understanding necessary to excel in the demanding realm of sound engineering.
Elijah has since put his degree and skills to impressive use, establishing himself as a talented mix technician. His work is crucial to the immersive experience of film and television, ensuring that dialogue, music, and sound effects are perfectly balanced and clear for the audience. According to an IMDb profile, James Spader’s second son has contributed his audio mixing talents to a diverse array of acclaimed television shows and films. His resume boasts work on popular series such as the dark comedy Barry, the critically acclaimed medical drama The Resident, the hit HBO comedy Insecure, and, notably, his father’s own long-running crime thriller, The Blacklist. Working on these high-profile productions demonstrates his capability and the trust placed in his audio expertise within the industry.
More recently, Elijah lent his skills to the star-studded holiday movie Spirited, featuring Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell, further solidifying his presence in major motion picture productions. Beyond his professional achievements, a personal Instagram page attributed to Elijah Spader, with a bio humorously stating “audio guy,” offers a glimpse into his life outside of work. His posts suggest a deep appreciation for music, an affection for the epic saga of Star Wars, and a clear fondness for cats, revealing a well-rounded personality with interests beyond the sound booth.
Nathaneal Spader: The Youngest Son and His Father’s Philosophical Outlook
James Spader’s marriage to Victoria Khell concluded in 2001, with their divorce finalized in 2004. Shortly after, in 2002, James began a new chapter in his personal life, dating his Alien Hunter costar, the talented actress and artist Leslie Stefanson. Their relationship blossomed, and in 2008, Leslie gave birth to their son, Nathaneal Spader, marking James’s third foray into fatherhood.
James Spader has consistently maintained a veil of discretion over his private affairs, especially concerning his relationships and family life. When pressed by Playboy in 2014 about his relationship with Leslie Stefanson – who, after a successful acting career, gracefully transitioned into a highly regarded sculptor – James responded with a thoughtful, almost poetic reflection. He chose to quote the eminent poet E.E. Cummings, stating, “‘Be of love a little more careful than of everything.’ Pay attention. Take great care, especially in things that are taken for granted.” This quote offers a rare insight into Spader’s philosophy on love, partnership, and family, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness and cherishing the bonds that often go unacknowledged in the hustle of daily life. It suggests a deep, contemplative approach to his most intimate relationships, choosing quiet reverence over public display.
Further elaborating on his personal views and fatherhood, James Spader also spoke with Rolling Stone in 2014, in an interview that famously dubbed him “The Strangest Man on TV.” During this candid conversation, Spader revealed that Nathaneal would be his last child. He explained his reasoning with a philosophical stance on environmental and population issues, stating, “I believe in a negative population growth. The other two were with another mother, so we have three boys that will replace all three of us.” This unique perspective underscores Spader’s thoughtful and unconventional approach to life, extending even to his family planning decisions. It highlights his awareness of broader global concerns and his personal commitment to living in alignment with those beliefs. This statement not only closed the chapter on having more children but also showcased his introspective nature, linking his private choices to larger world views.
Through the years, James Spader has expertly navigated the demands of a high-profile acting career while steadfastly protecting his family’s privacy. The varied paths chosen by Sebastian, Elijah, and Nathaneal – from real estate to audio production and beyond – reflect the freedom and individual growth fostered within their private family unit. Each son, in his own right, is building a unique legacy, embodying the quiet strength and independent spirit that their father so famously possesses, both on and off the screen.